I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Welp...herpes.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
