im having a threesome with these popsicles
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
