East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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