weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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