We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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