The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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