boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize