Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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