im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
