did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she smelled like a LAN party
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
