Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
