How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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