I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
