I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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