Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
two words...techno handjob
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We're too hungover to prance.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
