Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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