Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
