i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
