my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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