Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize