We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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