Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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