Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
