well you can't waste a boner
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
