I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
