Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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