don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
