textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
