I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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