Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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