I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
