I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
