I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
