Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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