im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
