Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
