I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
