why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
