we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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