You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
