Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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