my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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