So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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