I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
