She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize