no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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