Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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