I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
