alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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