Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
