I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
