i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize