Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
