WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
