CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
