i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
