Welp...herpes.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
